Walls of Stone

Chapter 1: The Long Road to Malasno

Travel does funny things to a person. People will go on about how it broadens the mind -- usually people who have stopped traveling about ten years ago and are currently living a very sedentary life married to the girl who grew up next door.

Traveling is not fun. It’s annoying insects in your sleeping bag, stale trail rations, overpriced food and lodging and the little squiggly lines on your map that turn out to be raging river and impenetrable mountain ranges.

"What will it be, stranger?" The waitress in the small restaurant/tavern/inn managed to jar me out of my meditations on travel.

I realized I hadn’t glanced at the menu yet. "Ano..." I stammered uncharacteristically. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, there’s the Local Specialty," she suggested.

I made a face -- which was thankfully hidden by my cloak and mask. One of the first things that any traveler learned was that ‘Local Specialty’ actually meant ‘food to feed the tourists because the locals are to smart to eat it’. "I’ll just have what everyone else is having," I told her. "And a cup of coffee."

"No coffee."

"What?"

"No coffee... last week’s shipment fell down that switchback over by Rebanda."

"Fine," I sighed. "Tea, then. Something with caffeine."

As she left to go tell the cook my order, I took out my journal, dating the first blank page I found.

Dear Journal,

Have made it to Malasno. Mountains were tough. Glad it is summer still. Currently in their in getting lunch. No coffee. Most of the people seem to be ignoring me -- good. Will spend lunch here, then move on to a shrine that’s supposed to be in the area.

Still no cure.

-- Z. G.

I don’t know why I started to keep a journal. I think, at first it was a way to record where my cure wasn’t. Later it became a way of letting out my feelings of rage, frustration and depression without blowing something up.

I closed my journal and put it back in my pack. I felt something brush my hand. Amelia’s bracelet... I remember when she gave it to me...

It was after the whole business with Dark Star. We had returned to the seaport and Amelia had booked passage back to Sailoon. Lina and Gourry were going back as well. When I asked why, Lina said something about getting Gourry a new sword and changed the subject.

"Zelgadis-san, will you walk with me for a bit?" Amelia had asked me. "My ship doesn’t leave for a few hours yet."

"Sure," I stood up, leaving Lina and Gourry to finish lunch. Lina noticed me leaving with Amelia and winked conspiratorially at me. I ignored her.

"You know, Zelgadis-san," Amelia began. "It’s not too late."

"Excuse me?"

"You could still book passage with us back home."

I sighed. "Amelia, you know I can’t. There are still parts of the Outer World that I haven’t seen yet."

"You mean parts that might have your cure."

"Well... yes."

"Sometimes I think you care more about your cure than you do about other people, Zelgadis-san."

"Why should I care abut people? Since when do they care about me?"

I knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment after I said it. Amelia stopped walking and whirled to face me. "Why do you think we hang around you, Zelgadis-san? It isn’t for your stellar personality and cheerful sense of optimism. We care about you -- I care about you. Sometimes, I wonder why, since you don’t seem to give a damn about the rest of humanity. Oh wait -- I forgot. You don’t consider yourself part of humanity because you think you look like a monster. Well, maybe if you didn’t act so cold and callous, people would stop treating you like one. Humanity is defined by the ability to love and be loved." She started to leave, to go back to the restaurant.

"Amelia... wait..." I said. Her outburst stung, more than I thought such words would. I would expect something like that from Lina, but not Amelia. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much.

She turned. "Zelgadis-san... I don’t want to talk to you. Not until you start acting like the human you were born as, and not like your heart is made of the same stone as your skin. When you do..." She pulled off one of her bracelets and tossed it to me. "You know where to find me. Don’t take too long. Hopefully, that bracelet will remind you of what I said, Zelgadis-san. Goodbye."

I think she was expecting me to run after her. She certainly walked slow enough and looked back at where I was still standing as she turned the corner. I didn’t.

After she left, I tuned towards the road out of town. "It’s probably for the best," I said to myself. "I am a cold-hearted sorcerer swordsman." Somehow, the mantra didn’t make me feel any better. I studied the bracelet Amelia had given me, unsure what to do with it. I shrugged and looped it about my canteen...

"Grub’s here!" The waitress set down my lunch, jolting me out of my thoughts again. I thanked her, lowered my mask and began to eat.

The food and tea... well, they were edible and hot and appeared to be from identifiable animals and plants. And eating certainly distracted me from thinking about my past. There was no point living in the past. I have to remember to live for the future.

The future... sitting in the back corner of roadside inns, like this one, eating crummy food and drinking lukewarm tea that tasted like colored water?

I dropped my fork... the thought of a lifetime of this was enough to make me lose my appetite. But it wouldn’t be a lifetime... I had to find my cure sooner or later.

I stood up, leaving money for the half-eaten food. Well, there was no time like the present. I left the restaurant, heading for the shrine marked on the map.

After about an hour of walking and the occasional scramble up parts where the trail gave out, I reached it. A natural cave had been expanded and a heavy wooden door had been set in the entrance. IT was locked with a rather solid-looking chain and padlock. Well, there were ways of dealing with that.

"FIRE-"

"Complete that spell and things will go harshly for you, young man."

Author’s Note:

Wow... my first piece of ‘published’ fanfic in nearly a year (unless you count the piece I coauthored with Unoriginality)... hope I’m not rusty. The first part is a bit short and a bit boring, but it will pick up. This is a very introspective piece (why I chose first-person), though, so don’t expect much spell-throwing, sword-swinging action.

Surprisingly, writing first person Zelgadis is not hard... I see him as having a very thoughtful streak, something I have as well. Just don’t ask me to get in the head of Gourry or someone like that. (Actually, I subscribe to the theory that Gourry is smarter than he seems, especially about some things)

Sorry if Amelia seems a bit out of character in the flashback. I was planning on writing this sweet scene where Amelia tells Zel she’ll be waiting for him when he figures things out/gets his cure. Then I decided sweet is boring and that I should give Amelia some backbone. Plus, it fits the tone of the fic much better. If it makes you feel any better, she probably cried for a while after her fight, for being so mean to Zelgadis-san and how he probably hated her now (Even though she knew she was right).

Next: Zel gets a better cup of tea, and finds out exactly why someone built a shrine here. Plus, learn the identity of the Mysterious Voice (tm) that I ended this chapter with (feel free to guess -- betcha you won‘t get it).